In another fire-from-the-hip, PS called in Strapless. Short cutters usually keep quiet about their cheatiing, he said, but it seemsStrapless is different. He was condemned out of his own mouth “Oh, I didn’t run the trail…” “He ought to be publically…” Before he could leave, PS called in the other Eurohashers, Chicken Sh*t & Awesome Foursome, just returned from Vienna. Austria is home to some strange people, but according to Strapless, they all speak English well – “They could understand everything I said…”. Further comment was drowned out by “Bullsh*t, bullsh*t…” and he got another D-D. Nothing daunted, Strapless gave all expats a lesson in Singlish pronunciation. “Parang is parang not pareng,” he said, referring to Goody bag’s chopper. Scribe reminded him that GB’s chopper was in fact a cutlass or kind of sword, which is a pedang not a parang (machete). (Oh how we enjoy pedantry – Ed)


Mystery Whip: Circle Jerk had been at the Malaysian tabloids for material and found the story of the inseparable couple taken to hospital. The receiving doctor asked “why are they both on the same stretcher?” CJ claimed it was due to the man having taken a large dose of viagra so his organ swelled oversize. Somehow this was linked to hares with big choppers … (Ed’s note: however unlikely it may seem, there are documented cases of couples getting stuck. It’s called vaginismus and due to a muscle in the female groin going into spasm – nothing to do with viagra or other little blue pills so don’t panic).

CJ also could not resist comment on ladies well-equipped for the Hash, carrying cutting implements with them. Not only Goody Bag (samurai sword) but also Mother Mary (cutting pliers) were possessed of such. Did they have intentions to shorten Puck Smuggler’s hockey stick?


TOTW: keen to pass on the robe of office, Comes Quietly appeared, and mentioned a few potential candidates. However, best qualified seemed to be Strapless for potentially causing WW3. “He ought to be….”


Mystery2 Whip: Good to see Ayam Zinking back in the circle. The thinking man’s whip, he too went to the G20 meeting for his material. He called in Corny Linguist, Astronut, Ditch and assigned each as look-alikes. However many column inches were given to the business discussions, it was the off-sides activity that captured most press attention with Ivanka Trump’s conduct in the lead.


Unusually this evening there was a third Mystery Whip, Corny Linguist. As usual his charges were convoluted and given in a strange accent so Scribe only managed to catch that GM & GMs were called in on some Trumped-up charge and given a D-D. (Perhaps they just looked thirsty – Ed)


Next, CL announced that Suzy Wong is 60 years old. Just in time to stop a vigorous and possibly lifethreatening denial from the Hash-named Suzy Wong, CL clarified this was the book, not the person. “60 is too young to retire,” said CL, calling in Wonton as exemplary of the “Keep ‘em working” lobby.


AOB: First in was No Good who called in all the Americans. Fourth of July, she reminded the Circle, is also known as Turkey Shoot Day. “Why turkeys?” she wanted to know. “Why not shoot pussy?” None of the American had an answer to that, so the next bottle-on-the-head merchant was Ditch. Climbing with others up the mud slide, he could hear squeaking coming from below. The more difficult the climb, the higher the pitch of squeak, eventually it became a kind of orgasmic sound. Calling in Bibrator he wanted to know did she have a mud fetish? “Here’s to squeakers, they’re true blue…”


More AOB: One woman guest previously had a hash name but had forgotten it. (Forgotten or was it too embarrassing? – Ed). Co-runners had noticed that each time she climbed a slope she thumped the ground on the way up. Thus clued in, the choice was obvious, and she was duly namedThumper by Puck Smuggler with the powers vested in him.


Final AOB: Goody Bag and her co-hare 8.24 waved the cutlass one more time to bring the proceedings to a close and head for a very successful and noisy on-on-on.


Reminder to save the date: LCHHH 35th Anniversary Run will be on 25th November 2017al

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Run 1842
Goody Bag's birthday run

Circle Report- Run 1842

Goody Bag’s Late Birthday Run

Date: Friday 14th July 2017

Run Site: Bukit Gombak Stadium Car Park

On-on: Meng Kee Seafood, 369 Bt Batok W Ave 5

Hares: Goody Bag, a cutlass & 8.24


Total Run/ Circle Attendance:           32, of which 26 Members ( 21 F, 15 M)

Virgins:                                              Not so as you’d notice

Visitors & Returnees:                          6 (3 F, 3 M)

New Member:                                   Not tonight

Milestones                                         Also NTR

Next Week’s Hares: Dominator, Bully, Cherry Picker, Ditch & Sweet Thighs

Run Site: Tulip Garden

On-On: On Site


Circle Scribe: Airborne

Something about Bukit Gombak seems to draw the rain. As it did in May, so it repeated for this July run, alternating between drizzle and Noah’s Ark. Undaunted, the hares had set a tough trail. If you thought Gombak’s jungle was inaccessible, determination proved you wrong. Mind you, it needed a lot of uphill stuff, climbing up a mudslide after the FRBs have smoothed it with their feet and torn out all the handholds, is a serious challenge. We found out why Goody Bag felt it necessary to carry a sharp & wicked-looking weapon to deal with undisciplined foliage (see later).


So it was a damp and subdued Circle that GM Puck Smuggler with hockey stick & GMs Voting B*tch called at 8.10pm.


“Call in the Hares!” Goody Bag & 8.24 appeared to hear the RUN VERDICT, as usual, many shouts, we heard “Note enough shiggy” and “Too many hills” but there was no real opposition to GOOD RUN. “They’re all right, they’re all right, a little flat chested but they’re all right”

“Where’s your on-on? At Meng Kee Seafood, Block 369 nearby, with 8 courses including fish-head curry at a very keen price of $12.


Guests: No returnees and no virgins, pity. Visiting women were Madeline, Suction Cup, and to-benamed Thumper. Men were Butt Wiper, Samson LeToi & Steve. “Why were they born so beautiful…”


Hare whip 8.24, called in his co-hare – “the lady with the chopper”. Goody Bag appeared with a cutlass some four times the legal limit for sharp instruments. As well as clearing the trail it was also useful for commanding respect and various other cutting tasks as several other Circle people observed. “Here’s to amazons, they’re true blue…” Next, 8.24 dug into his joke bag and pulled out The Donald’s latest gaffe, apparently at the G20 Summit he took PM Lee HL for President of Indonesia. Having just returned from Jakarta, Hare Whip was pleased to note more friendliness towards the US – Merika (Mericum – pepper) is on every dining table _.


Puck Smugglerobserved that VB was not wearing the now obligatory Effme shoes, and called in Beer Bitch who had a low-altitude version. “B-I-M-B-O…”, of course.